How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Republicans

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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