Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Women's Rights.

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Testicles.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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want a balloon? yeah

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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