What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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