If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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