A baby seal walks into a club.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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i like turtles

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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