Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Joay impistato is a fig

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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mooooh im a cow

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Myspace

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Daym im romantic

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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anti jokes

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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guess what chicken butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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