Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

knock knock come in

what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

A baby seal walks into a club.

I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Who is a better president, Bush or Obama? Both have their Pros and Cons.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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