How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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Poop

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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