How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight? He was in a hurry.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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