What happens when you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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Oliver's friends

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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