Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? It's Jim. Jim who? I'm your son, Jim. Are you losing your memory?

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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69

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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