Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Drew Knowles is gay

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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High school gym class.

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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