Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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I'm tired.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What is the difference between a duck?

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Female Athletics

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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