What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

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Niall Horan

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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