A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Poop

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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The Oakland Raiders

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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