when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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What's wrong with woman Everything

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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