There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "It sure is hot in here". The other muffin says, "Yeah like 350, 375".

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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What is a question?

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. God does not answer.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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Knock knock Who's there The mailman The mailman who? You are so dumb.

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A black man walks into a bar, and asks the barman for a pint of lager. The barman refuses to serve him because of his race. This causes the black man and any others in the establishment to leave, considering this appalling behaviour.

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How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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