A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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Woman.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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