roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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smell the vitamin C

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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