What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats 2+2? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -474

what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

420

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -17

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you riding a jet-ski amd the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Blue Ice Cream

thumb_up thumb_down +320

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +376

33

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You're so ugly, When you look in the mirror it displays you're reflection because that is what mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down +406

A person from Singapore eats

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between two little red cubes who are excactly the same in weight lengt colour etc. ??? One is actually a blue ball!

thumb_up thumb_down -374

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were going for a walk. They spotted some tracks, and stopped to inspect them. "Those are train tracks." The blonde noted. They agreed, looked both ways, then crossed safely over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +477

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Billy Cundiff.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops