Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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MICHAEL

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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I have a crush on my dad.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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