whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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im a willy bum bum

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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I grunt when I poop.

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Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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1,984

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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