Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Women's football

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Womens rights

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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