There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: Doesn't matter, got hit by car.

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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What's big and white?

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

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What is 9+10? 19

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whats a joke

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whats 2+2? 4

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops