You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

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Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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TOBUSCUS

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops