What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Dear Chase. You are retarded Your jokes suck Violets are red jump off a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops