Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Jews

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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