When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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