A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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PENIS

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What happens when you choke a smurf? It dies.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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