What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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