y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Women

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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