Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops