My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A girl who really needs to see the doctor.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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