what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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mikey is cute

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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Health food.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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