Why do girls like Justin beiber Because he can sing good

thumb_up thumb_down -382

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Gay Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +41

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

thumb_up thumb_down -24

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Erectile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like pom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops