what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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