What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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