How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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ass in my face ? no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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