So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

thumb_up thumb_down +17

YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar, he is an alcohol and it's tearing his family apart

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops