Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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Hahaha

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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