Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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VAGINA.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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