Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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#Getweird

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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