your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

woman's lacrosse

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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