Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Women's rights.

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Men's rights

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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Bing

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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