Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Bing

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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