What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Robin, get in the car.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Penis

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Real jokes.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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minorities

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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