What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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