Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

123456789

thumb_up thumb_down -18

*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

thumb_up thumb_down +61

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what did the man say to the other man? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

haha.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops