what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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