When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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The WNBA

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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SPAMS!!!

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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nice shorts.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops