How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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knock knock come in

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Y2K

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123456789

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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