Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Nickelback.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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