Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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