chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Satan called. I put him on hold.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

123456789

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

thumb_up thumb_down +111

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops