A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Women rights.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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