if u r not my friend, like this joke

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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hi

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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123456789

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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