Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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69

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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What comes after "Q" R

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops