Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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25

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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Obamacare!

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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