Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

penis

Noah is Smart.

Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

Your life That's the joke

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

Yo mama so fat she died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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