what is brown and sticky? a stick

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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You're so straight!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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