Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

thumb_up thumb_down

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down

I have read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

thumb_up thumb_down

A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What color is my lamp? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops