Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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womans rights

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Indeed.

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Obama.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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