Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

I have no joke. u mad?

Hi poop!

Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

i heart wiener

A van drives into a car.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

What's funnier than 24? 25.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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