Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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God.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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