Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

Steering Wheel Face.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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