Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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