A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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Dead babies.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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womans rights

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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I am a real homosexual

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Indeed.

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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