Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops