A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

thumb_up thumb_down +21

anus soup

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guess what? Chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

thumb_up thumb_down +19

justin littleton. nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +17

kennah campion... being nice

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A fat man buys a salad

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops