One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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25

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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anus soup

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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Oliver's friends

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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