Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Mmmm, donuts

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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