Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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