What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Mmmmmmm Lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is 6 plus 9? 15

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops