I dislike old people.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down +35

roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops