What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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newt gingrich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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anus soup

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops