anus soup

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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thomas hall= fuckin dikc

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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womans rights

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Indeed.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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beiber i straight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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