Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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What does a man like. food.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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What's 6+2? 16

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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hi

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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