Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Potato salad

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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anus soup

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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What comes after "Q" R

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Oliver's friends

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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safety framed toilets like bbw (big black women)

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops