A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Women's rights

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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AROUND

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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i have 2 penises

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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