A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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sixty....eight.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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okay.....

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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. Deez nuts Ok

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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What does a man like. food.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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