How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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SPAMS!!!

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Real jokes.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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