Real jokes.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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9/11

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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