a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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