Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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this website...

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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Women's rights

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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