Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Real jokes.

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Noah is Smart.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops