How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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Brittney Spears

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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