Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

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Dear John,

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if it's friday, it must be China

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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ur mother

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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