How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

did you ever see a butter fly?

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...