Please don't rape me.

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PENIS

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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hi my name is? joe

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Thumbs this up

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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