"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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