Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops