What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down +23

nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

thumb_up thumb_down +23

25

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guess what? Chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops