Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what was the dying mans last words? im dying

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -97

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +60

So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops