Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

Josh kissing a girl

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

Indeed.

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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