Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

Women's sports.

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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