there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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womans rights

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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An Irishman stays home

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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