A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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this website...

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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