Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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