A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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Bing

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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a boy comes to a girl and ask : do you like vaginas ? and she says course not your dumb ass and he says then give her to me *troll face*

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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69

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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