Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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womans rights

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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An Irishman stays home

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops