Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

...Jack Vale

Connor "Rusty" McLeod

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

I am black.

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

SPAMS!!!

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

Niko isnt a mexican douche

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

nice shorts.

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...