- Anti Joke

I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

newt gingrich

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

9/11/01 walks into a bar

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

Women's Golf

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

womans rights

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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