A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

Two women were sitting in silence.

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

the joke below me is not an anti joke

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

Go away.

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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