I am black.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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The WNBA

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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drugs.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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nice shorts.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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