One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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A man buys free health care...

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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I dislike old people.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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nice shorts.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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