Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Haha pizza

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

Fruitcake

Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

Shit.

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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