YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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A man buys free health care...

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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