Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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The geese of Growmore

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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nbjhfghl

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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