Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i am predestal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops