Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

That's what he said.

You are the third derivative of the position function.

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

im jewish

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

fart

I won the game.

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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