A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

Whoa! A talking carrot!

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

An Irishman stays home

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

Hello

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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