Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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A Jew returns change.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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