Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Lockerbie bombing

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What's big? Jupiter.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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Penis

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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i am predestal

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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minorities

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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