A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

9/11

What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

fart

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

milly, milly, milly, cat

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

jgkbk,mn

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

where's waldo? in a picture book.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Lacrosse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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