A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Slavery

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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No.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops