What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

im jewish

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Chocolate rain Awesome!

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

AROUND

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

Pickle!

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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