Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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