there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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kennah campion... being nice

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Hello

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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Jews for Jesus

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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