A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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The government makes a good decision

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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That's what he said.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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fart

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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