Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Nickelback

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops