What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

Military intelligence.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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