What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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AROUND

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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No.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops