One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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That's what he said.

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nbjhfghl

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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