why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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