I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Hello

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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Jews for Jesus

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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