Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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gays

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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A ginger rapping.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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