What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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An Irishman stays home

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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