A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

thumb_up thumb_down +78

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down +72

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +64

GooglePlus.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

throbbing slobber

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops