28

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My dad beats my mom At checkers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

thumb_up thumb_down

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

thumb_up thumb_down

CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hi poop!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops