Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Jew returns change.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hello world

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -94

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops