How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Black Poeple

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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The geese of Growmore

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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