How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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marble

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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