Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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