What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

God is religiously proven to be real

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

My dad beats my mom At checkers

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

Why were corners made? For crying.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

69

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...