How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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9/11

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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nbjhfghl

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Why....... Because.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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