What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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why did the chicken cross the road

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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women's rights

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Brett Farve

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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