How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

My dad beats my mom At checkers

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

Knock Knock. F uck off.

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

The outside of my house is painted yellow.

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

Hi poop!

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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