Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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Lockerbie bombing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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