My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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69

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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