Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Brittney Spears

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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69

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your all shit at jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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option 1, minecraft VS option 2, friends

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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