There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Shit.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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