What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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jokes r dumb

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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hi my name is? joe

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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Come in

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I can't think of a joke!

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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