How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

im jewish

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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