- Anti Joke

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

You're so straight!

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

That's what he said.

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

josh simpson has cancer

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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