There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

A baby seal walks into a club.

What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...