What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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