What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +16

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops