What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What what In the butt

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops