Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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69

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Benevolent villain.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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