Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +34

nbjhfghl

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Pickle!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Steering Wheel Face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i am predestal

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops