Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Jasper sucks.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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hi my name is? joe

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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PENIS

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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I can't think of a joke!

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Benevolent villain.

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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