How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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25

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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