What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Nickelback

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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A black succeeds

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Jasper sucks.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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