Satan called. I put him on hold.

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

why did the man die? he got shot

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

Why Did the throw up He was sick

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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