A baby seal walks into a club.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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What will happen when a black person die they die

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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live babies

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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Turtles

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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