Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Myspace

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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