What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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That's unfortunate.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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