I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Nickelback

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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28

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A black succeeds

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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