why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Hitler

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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no

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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