What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Lockerbie bombing

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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