What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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No.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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a horse walks into a barn

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops