What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Please don't rape me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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why did the man die? he got shot

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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Canada

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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poop.........

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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