A baby seal walks into a club.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

What time is it? 10:58

What's brown and sticky? A stick

cheese

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

The chicken crossed the road.

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

What's 6+2? 16

Knock knock! Yes?

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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