Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

thumb_up thumb_down -85

A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

thumb_up thumb_down +78

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

throbbing slobber

thumb_up thumb_down +50

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

no

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +44

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops