Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

thumb_up thumb_down +46

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Chocolate tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

thumb_up thumb_down +44

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

im jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops