A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

i am predestal

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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