What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why....... Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what is white and sticky? glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +34

fart

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

thumb_up thumb_down +32

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Lockerbie bombing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The size of Idris Elba's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops