Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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GooglePlus.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Black Poeple

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no

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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