Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Jesus wept.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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