What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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