how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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your mom

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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lebron

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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