when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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I like turtoes.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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