A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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2+2= 478

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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