Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Hi Adam,

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Libraries.

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thumbs up!

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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2+2= 478

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clamidia

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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