Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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A horse walked into a barn...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Womens rights

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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thumbs up!

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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