why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +29

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I like turtoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops