Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Itookasipasoda

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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