A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops