Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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A hayride would be fun.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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your mom

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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clamidia

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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