What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops