What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +92

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down +50

In Soviet Russia its very cold

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops