A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A hayride would be fun.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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The economy.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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