What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

thumb_up thumb_down -136

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

thumb_up thumb_down +53

In Soviet Russia its very cold

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

2+2= 478

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

66

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops