What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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