Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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thumbs up!

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Asian NASCAR.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops