A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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