how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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2+2= 478

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The NBA lockout

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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YOLO

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops