yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

thumb_up thumb_down

Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -4

5

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

thumb_up thumb_down -12

so a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hi Adam,

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops