what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

Diana and victoria

A. Hey.. B. Hi

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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