What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Womens rights

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Hi Adam,

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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