thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

thumb_up thumb_down -139

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops