Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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A hayride would be fun.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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66

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96

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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