a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Miami Heat.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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