A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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i have cancer

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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