what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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I'm funny.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops