What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

666

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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