What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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clamidia

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Womens rights

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my names jim haha

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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