Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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I like turtoes.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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21

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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