What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Animal

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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