What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A hayride would be fun.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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The economy.

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11111

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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