Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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equality for women

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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2+2= 478

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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