What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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thumbs up!

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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2+2= 478

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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