What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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