Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Asian NASCAR.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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