OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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