Rebecca Black's new album.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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clamidia

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Womens rights

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my names jim haha

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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