why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

Rebecca Black's new album.

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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