What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

The economy.

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

My wife has terminal cancer.

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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