Animal

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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I'm funny.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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