What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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Why? Because racecar.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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hrih

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Christians

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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