Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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hrih

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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