A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Kony 2012

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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