Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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women's rights

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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The Holocaust

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops