Kony 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -66

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops