Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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