a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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