what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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