Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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pedophile

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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