a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -2

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops