Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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A fat man on a moped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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