A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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lebron

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Your momma's so fat...

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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lebron

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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pedophile

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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