How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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Christians

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops