How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

whats black. an african american person

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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