A fat man on a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Runescape.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -144

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -160

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops