Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why? Because racecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

thumb_up thumb_down +110

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops