how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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The white guy did it!

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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