"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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you.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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hrih

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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