Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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