roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +62

If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

thumb_up thumb_down +38

1134

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops