Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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BUT HWY?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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