Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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hi

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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Runescape.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops