Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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