What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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