Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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123457

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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hi

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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