Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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Kony 2012

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Runescape.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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