What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Christians

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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