Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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hi

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Christians

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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