how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

acuna

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -29

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Kony 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -67

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -87

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops