What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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