Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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Swag.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Obama.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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hrih

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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