What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

You.

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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