What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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A man walks around a bar.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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