A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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