A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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hi

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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