Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops