Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

thumb_up thumb_down -85

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -105

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops