How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks around a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who did the strait guy marry? a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -28

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -144

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

thumb_up thumb_down +117

34

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops