What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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