Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops