Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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