Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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lebron

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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You.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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