A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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