What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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A man walks around a bar.

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You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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