Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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BUT HWY?

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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