A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

thumb_up thumb_down -2

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

What rymes with milk..... milf

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

1134

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops