Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Yee

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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