why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

acuna

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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