Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Kony 2012

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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