What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Kony 2012

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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you.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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