Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Hi

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Gale swallows.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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