Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

123457

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

thumb_up thumb_down

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -172

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops