A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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123457

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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hrih

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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