Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Wumbo

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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