What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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