roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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Wumbo

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Kony 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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