Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Chikin nuggets

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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