Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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Jesus wept.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Kony 2012

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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