Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

Religion

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

96

Obama 2012

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...