Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Jesus

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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