Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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123457

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Kony 2012

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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