Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops