A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops