Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Jesus wept.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops