Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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