What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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BUT HWY?

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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