Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Arrow to the Knee

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

This comment is anti to jokes.

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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