What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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The white guy did it!

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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