Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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A fat man on a moped

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops