Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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Wumbo

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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