3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Wumbo

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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hrih

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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