you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops