What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Gale swallows.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops