Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Christians

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Obama 2012

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops