How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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