What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops