What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Yee

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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