Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops