a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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