A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

what is not funny? This joke.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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