Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops