How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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