when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -85

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

1134

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down +38

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I can see you under there. Under what?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops