Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Jesus wept.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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