A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops