A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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A fat man on a moped

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops