Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Kony 2012

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Yee

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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