I went to the store and I fell

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

What color is a banana? yellow.

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

Your momma's so fat...

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

equality for women

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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