Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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