How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Hi

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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lebron

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Women's Rights

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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you.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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