Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Gale swallows.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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Yee

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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