I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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Women's rights.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops