How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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what is not funny? This joke.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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I went to the store and I fell

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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