Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Runescape.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I went to the store and I fell

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops