What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -167

If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops