What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Wumbo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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