Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Chikin nuggets

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you.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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pedophile

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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I went to the store and I fell

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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The Holocaust

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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