What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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you.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops