A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Arrow to the Knee

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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