Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Boom.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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