What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Gale swallows.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Yee

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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A man walks around a bar.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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