what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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you.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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A man walks around a bar.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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