Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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