Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

womens sports...

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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