what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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You.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I went to the store and I fell

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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