- Anti Joke

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

womens sports...

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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