Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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America

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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sexual intercourse.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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