a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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sexual intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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