Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Men's Rights

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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