What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Justin Bieber

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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