Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Men's Rights

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i like cats

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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