Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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