what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

what do you call a cow? A cow

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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