Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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sexual intercourse.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops