What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Women's Rights.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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