Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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