How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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385

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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