What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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i like cats

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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