Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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69

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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