A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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69

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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