Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

Mexicans are like waffles

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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