What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Justin Bieber

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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