Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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what sucks? things that suck

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Justin Bieber

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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