Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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385

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops