Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops