How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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How are you this morning?

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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