What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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You

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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