Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Yes.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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You

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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