Simon says; "You're adopted."

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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How are you this morning?

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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